I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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