if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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