I swear she didn't look like that last week.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
