ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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