Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
