I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
