Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
