he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
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You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
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I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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