Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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