absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
