I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
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they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
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Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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