Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
