Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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