before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize