I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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