they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
