I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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