Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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