We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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