I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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