But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize