so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
