yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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