His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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