It's like a parade of train wrecks.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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