Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
