I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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