What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
