You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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