The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
