You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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