you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
