sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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