is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
