remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
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I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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