I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
