did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
