Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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