you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
