Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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