how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
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