you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
