We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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