she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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