I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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