i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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