No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
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You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
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Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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