i permit you to call me
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
