Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
It's official drugs can't kill me
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
