Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Are we still banned from the library?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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