playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
lets start a swedish sibling band together
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
