See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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