So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
