i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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