I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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