I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself