another moral hangover. fuck.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.