My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I wanna passion pit in your ass
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
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There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
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I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU