There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening