Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
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Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
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I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future