The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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