I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
