You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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