Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
